fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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