He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Just invented taco cereal.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
pray to the hookup gods
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
