He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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