yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
