i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
