he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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