we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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