guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
