I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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