Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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