I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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