Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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