We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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