Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i don't like sucking hair
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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