When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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