my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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