Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
