I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
