Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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