The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
