We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
It's shark week go big or go home
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
