i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
