he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
ugly people sure do ruin things
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
