I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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