How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Randomize
