Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
