Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
