he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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