Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
