Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
