I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
