Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
