Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I understand Curling. That high.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
We have started to decorate penises.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize