Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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