the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
