I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
