All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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