I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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