She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
