you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
