You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Why are your pants in the freezer?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
