That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
