Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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