i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize