Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
