Nicole vs. Life
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
