my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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