Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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