It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
