You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
