just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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