I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
