I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize