your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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