it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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