if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
