so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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