living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I enjoy the company of your penis
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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