ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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