Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
