Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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